Champs and Cookies; New Year's Eve 2011

Saggy.

Champs and Cookies!

KPD (Soon to Be) S

Logovers aren't so smooth after some cheap champagne.

Notice the short sleeves and shorts. Not bad for December 31st. What an awesome way to kick off the New Year's Eve festivities.

Anatomically Incorrect

Gray skies, light breeze, flurries drifting through the air. Today is the day that Old Man Winter decided to peek through curtains and size up the Mid Atlantic. Torday, it finally feels a bit like Decemeber. When the old man starts showing his face, it means getting to the annual task of digging through the closet for that stash of tights and jackets.

Rewind about 365... I distinctly remember being given a new pair of cycling tights. "These won't work for me - they're way too big. They're brand new and I have no idea where I got them. They're yours now." Size Large, Brand New chamois. Done and Done... I'll take 'em. In my pile of winter gear they stayed until today, when my foraging trip to the closet ensued.

After a lazy morning, I gathered my gear for an early afternoon ride at French Creek. Kitting up, I pulled on the sweet new pair of tights. They fit perfectly! KPD(soon to be)S and I rolled away into the woods. As I pedaled around though, I could feel that something wasn't right. Maybe I'm just off today? Maybe it's because I haven't been on the singlespeed for a long time? Maybe it's because I'm not used to a squishy front end? Maybe it's the different saddle? All kinds of questions ran through my head in that first few minutes of the ride.

Every chance I got, I found myself adjusting.... Moving around to get comfortable; out of the saddle, back into the saddle, front, back. I tugged at my new tights. Untied and re-tied; positioned this, positioned that... Alas, nothing seemed to remedy my woes.

So. These tights won't work for me; while they're no longer brand new, they're yours now if you want them... A once used pair of Size Large women's tights. Free to a good home.
Fail.

Racing Age 34...

Another good year passed. Here's to a shitload more. Cheers!

Phelps 'Cross; School's Out

I knew going in that 60 minutes of racing was going to hurt real bad. Preparations lacking, my goals were simple... mix it up a bit, have some fun and bring 2011 to a close on a high note.

From the green light, I gassed it hard into the first corner. While most of the field swung wide, I stuck the inside line around the 180° turn. That set me up squarely where I didn't belong... in the front group. These guys are all in peak form and to them; cross is boss. It was fun for me to be in that mix; watching them battle and throwing a jab whenever I could but I knew I'd pay the price. Whatever though, I was reveling in the moment.

As I started drifting back through the pack, I purposefully chose some goofy lines and played around wherever I could. At some point I was picked up by Zach and Craig. They were all about having fun; chit chatting, mixing it up, generally horsin' around. I rolled with them for a lap or three until they slowly pulled away. As I watched them disappear into the course ahead, I realized that was the end of my racing for 2011. I'd had my fun, I'd mixed it up, and I'd learned some lessons along the way.

Remember kids, riding bikes is fun. Whether you're shooting blanks or dropping bombs, there's always fun to be had out there. Never loose sight of that and you'll be A-Okay.

Photo Cred: Kirk Thibault

Little Wins and Picking Up Hitch Hikers

Well, Fortunately there wasn't an untimely network tragedy and I won my showdown yesterday. In a glorious display of professional procrastination, I pulled the trigger just in the nick of time.

With the impending competition type bicycle riding to be done tomorrow, KPD (soon to be) S and I went for a quick loop through the backyard trails to shake up the peddler muscles. Along the way, I found some hitch hikers and decided to give them a ride.

"Why am I so itchy??" ...

Hemming and Hawing; I Challenge you to a Duel, BikeReg

There's a showdown today at high noon. The sun is shining high off my back casting a long, dark shadow over whatever lies before me. More tension mounts with each minute that passes. Soon, the butterflies will arrive in full force and by 11:45, it'll be all I can think about. With about ten minutes to go, I'll nervously fumble around my desk. I'll get up, walk to the bathroom in a feeble attempt relieve myself of the nerves. It won't work. A few minutes left, I'll really be worrying about my office's shoddy network and archaic web browser. With seconds to go, my palms will be sweaty as I fumble with my wallet, trying desperately to pull out that rectangular piece of plastic. Stabbing at the keyboard, I'll pound in the pertinent details. Click Submit. ... Wait for it ...

If I win, KPD (soon to be) S and I will race the PA State CX champs on Sunday. If I lose, KPD (soon to be) S and I will still race the PA State CX champs on Sunday - the difference being that I'll have earned myself a $20 procrastination fee.

Why the hell do I do this to myself?

Smells Like Ass in Here

You know the saying... Excuses are like assholes. Everybody has them and they all stink.

Lately, I feel like I could write a book about excuses. Take last night for example... Seven. I had seven excuses why not to ride last night. And Wednesday night isn't just any old solo ride either. No. Wednesday night is a well established weekly ride that has been around longer than my MTB racing career. It's the one night of the week where I let loose and hammer. It's the one night of the week that I go out and have a couple beers with riding buddies. All very good reasons to be there.

So why bail? Well... here goes nothin'

1. "It's cold..." Right. It's like 50° and it's December. That excuse doesn't work at all, by any one's standards.


2. "It's Windy..." Right. See above.


3. "It's Raining..." Mmm Hmm. I think there was some light mist for about a minute and a half around 4pm.
   


4. "I'm tired" If you're riding seven days a week, this one at times can be valid. But when you're riding twice a week like me, it's just lame.


5. "It's Windy and I don't really feel like suiting up." See Number 1 above.


6. "The lights aren't charged" well, this one is valid. I mean, I can't very well ride in the dark without lights. Never mind the fact that I did procrastinate when I got home and instead of charging them when I got home, I plopped down on the couch.


7. "The bikes need some work." Partially true, but that hasn't stopped me for the past few several weeks...

In the end, I used all of these excuses to justify baggin' the ride, but truth be told, as soon as I started thinking excuse around lunchtime, the ride was over.

Meh. It's base building season and who needs base training, anyway?

Prepared... Or Not.

So, a few weeks ago KPD(soon to be S) rolled out to the Amish country for my first race of the 2011 'cross season. It didn't take long for me to come to the realization that I was completely unprepared for anything except actually racing my bicycle. I had my kit, shoes, helmet gloves and bike, which I guess is the important stuff. But that was it... No proper warm up gear (there was snow, inches of snow! on the ground). No food at all for before or after the race. No tools at all - not even a multi tool to change the seat height on the pit bike. I don't even think I had a pump with me. Maybe it's because my last race had been in September when it was warm and sunny? I'd like to say that it's because I simply forgot how to prepare for 'cross... but the reality is, I was barely prepared enough to ride a bike. All I know is that I warmed up in my North Face puffy winter coat and some winter gloves. It was embarrassing and and it was borderline non-functional. Oh, so pro.

It's always a scramble for me the morning of; making sure I have a clean kit, gathering my nutritional items, searching, scrounging... right! I need to make breakfast... remembering something I need and then searching the house for it. It's pretty ridiculous.

With two decades of racing (one way or another) under my belt, It's embarrassing that I don't have this dialed by now. I know that I should have a list of gear to run down when packing. Or I should have a "race day only" bag of "race day only" stuff that should be ready to go at a moments notice - shoes, socks, kit, helmet, gloves, base layer, warmers, nutrition, tools, air, tubes... hell, I just came up with most of the list in about 25 seconds. Or maybe I should have my gear organized so that at least I know where to find that elusive glove rather than scouring the several locations around the house, where it might be: laundry room (pile of clean clothes), laundry room (Tupperware glove bin - wait, we have an actual place for gloves?), laundry room (pile of dirty clothes), the bedroom closet, the coat closet, the bag of misfit socks and gloves, the garage (workbench), the garage (shelves), the garage (various bins of bike related crap that is and never will be used), either one of the two cars.

Yesterday was "next time." It was about 60°, sunny, dry and breezy. Running down the list, I fared better than last time, but had two major omissions.
I had:

• Enough tools to properly break down and rebuild a bike.
• Enough winter outdoorsy gear to traverse the Iditarod, on foot.
• Water
• 2 x kit (socks, shoes, jersey, shorts, gloves, helmet, glasses, arm warmers)
• Bike

What I didn't have but needed desperately:

• Cycling wind breaker for warming up - my baggy ass running jacket from years ago is just silly. Also, the stupid thing got caught on my saddle and put me into the ground pretty hard. on a pre-race hot lap.
• Nutrition - I was hungry before my warm up and had nothing to eat. I started to warm up and my stomach was growling. Halfway through the race, I came completely unglued to the point that I was delirious. After loading up on crap at a convenience store, I felt like a million bucks.

So basically, I didn't have the two of same things that I was lacking last time. The only difference is that this time I had some tools, "just in case" I needed them. Yeah, that went well. Let's try this again... This time, it'll be in text, on the Internet. It's on the Internet, so it'll have to work.

I hereby vow to have my shit together next time.

Summer Footwear; Autumn Rain

It's been a week since I've been on a bicycle. Driving over to the trails tonight, i was almost giddy. I was happy to be getting on a bike. Stoked about the opportunity to enjoy a short jaunt through the woods with KPD(soon to be)S. So much so that it didn't even matter that it'd been pissing rain all day and it was already dark outside. At 5PM.

Just as I pulled into the parking lot, It hit me. I forgot to grab my shoes off the floor of the garage. KPD(soon to be)S was a little more prepared (she always is) and with a limited window of opportunity, I didn't have time to run home and get some shoes. I made a game time decision and that decision was All systems: go close enough.

I mounted the Mariachi 'cross style and clipped right in placed my feet gently upon the Times. The beer koozie sole of my Sanüks conformed to the pedals just enough to create an illusion that I was securely attached to my bike. Unfortunately, this false sense of security led to a few oh shit moments and some antics out on the trail. The most noteworthy of which; a good blow to the junk as I stood to clear a wet root infested, punchy climb.

At least my walking funny isn't related to the aforementioned blow. It's my bruised metatarsals that are the culprit this time.