Are There Bicycle Gods?

Several times now, my wife has told me that I should have a go at a 'cross season this year, She says that I should do some actual cross workouts kit up for some races and see what happens.  She's said that she'd be happy to go and cheer me on from the other side of the tape.  I know that she is sincere, but I also know that it pains her a bit to say such things.  She's loved 'cross much more deeply than I have and perhaps ever will.  Standing at the tape will invoke some feelings and emotions that can only come from a cross race and can only be felt by someone who has truly loved it.  My typical response has been simply to smile and say, we'll see, Babe - which is my roundabout way of saying that I'm not terribly interested in that.  Yesterday was the first time that I've said anything positive about cross this year - to anyone.
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This morning I was running a bit late and I was scrambling to round up my gear for a lunch ride - Scrambler... remember?  I got everything together and reached for the road bike...Of course it has a flat tire.  Rather than fight with a new tube, kill another 15 minutes dicking around in the garage, and inevitably get grease or tire grime on my dress shirt; I grabbed the busted up Redline.

I can't remember the last time that I've had a flat on the road bike...  Of course it happened on this morning.  What the Shit?  Once in a while things like this happen.  Flat tires happen.  I get it.  Now, I'm a realist and I'm hesitant to believe in higher powers.  But can my first flat tire in thousands of miles of tarmac, gravel and the occasional singletrack be just an eery coincidence.  Or is it a sign.  I don't have the answer, but I know that I'm almost hesitant to go for that lunch ride today... almost. There are some gravel roads around that I've not yet gone down and they look perfect for some 32's...  Crazy.

Changes...

The last few months...  Wow.  So much has happened and so much has changed this year..  I was going to just throw some pics up here, but that's so weak.  A cop out.  My head spins when I try to think about it all and I keep going back to the two big ones... so I'll touch on those.

To start, Kim and I became Mr and Mrs. Bill Showers on April 7th, 2012.  We were married on the anniversary weekend of our first date.  We were married on the trails that we ride together most which are also happen to be the trails where we had that first date.  I've thought of our first date every time that I ride through those woods and now I think of our wedding day too.  It's a constant reminder of one of the best days of my life.  I know I'm biased, but I think we set the bar pretty high for both a ceremony and a reception.

The second has been consuming all my thoughts for the past couple months... we're having a baby.  We're having a baby.  We're having a baby!  With the excitement and anticipation, many things that would ordinarily be on my mind are nowhere to be found these days.

Kim passed the first trimester a little while ago.  It's not been an easy road for us but she's been amazingly strong so far and I've been doing my best to support her and make her feel as comfortable as she can be.  It's tiring for her and for me, but I know the cliche(s) and I know that it'll all be worth it. 

With a baby coming, thoughts of planning and preparations come and go in waves... I think about all that we need to do in the next five months and scares me a little bit.  Kim and I are both scramblers more than planners....Two peas in a pod I guess.  But it means that most of the things will probably be pushed off until the last possible moment.  In my own weird way, I think I'm trying to prepare as much as I can, and I think I'm starting to nest.  A few weeks ago, I got rid of the neglected and impractical XTerra and bought a more practical (and safe) station wagon for Kim.  I'm looking to get rid of the Mazda (because it's a ticking time bomb) and buy a POS beater car for myself and my shitty commute.  I've started cleaning out the attic, cleaned up the garage and I've been stressing about our yard.  Yeah... the yard.   I'm starting to put some effort into reclaiming the yard that we've been neglecting for the past couple years.  We love to be outside and the baby needs some soft grass to crawl through next spring, right? 

This week I have an appointment with a flooring company with an annoying advertising campaign.  They're going to give me an estimate for putting in some hardwood.  Our carpet in the family room is stained with kid stuff, dog stuff and who knows what else.  It's stretched out, it's gross and we can't have the baby crawling on that nasty mess, right?  So instead of getting on the bike tomorrow night, I get to deal with a greasy floor salesman.  I can't wait for this one.  

I have been getting on my bike once in a while but I haven't raced at all this season.  Well... that's not entirely true.  I did race one lap at French Creek.  I don't have much confidence in my fitness and as a result, I just don't have the desire to compete.  There are a couple races left on the calendar that I still have my eye on, but who knows. Now that the season is waning and I've not finished an XC race in ten months or so, It's really easy to come up with an excuse not to enter the start grid. 

Just recently, I've found myself thinking about 'cross.  That's pretty foreign to me, and it's a little confusing.   'cross for the past few years has just been a way to get a competitive fix once the xc season is over.  I have no idea why I'm thinking about it now, in my least competitive year in since I've started cycling.  I think about the turns, the fast grassy sections, the mud, the dismounts, the running... I've actually thought about starting to run a couple times a week.  I find myself thinking about the beat up hand-me-down Redline that I have in the garage.  I wonder if it's ready for the abuse that comes with a cross season.  I wonder if I should try to convert it to a single speed.  I wonder if I'll even be into the 'cross season when it gets here. 

Head spinning, Pedal spinning.  Repeat.  Getting on the bike once in a while is helping to keep me focused on - or distracted from - reality.  I suspect that it'll continue until I really need to scramble. Then it'll be complete chaos... until it's not.  That's how we roll, and it'll be fiiiiine. 

One of my favorite pics from our date in Islamorada.  Having fun - its what we do.